The inability to curb sexual behaviour can cause substantial distress to emotional health and can have an adverse impact on close intimate relationships.

Sex addicts are unable to control or postpone sexual feelings and actions, with the need for arousal supplanting the need for intimacy. Eventually, thrill-seeking becomes more important than family, career, even personal health and safety.

There is a ritual an addict goes through before acting out on their desires. Often the most pleasurable aspects of acting out sexually is in the preoccupation with the act: the planning, plotting and anticipation what is about to take place. After that, the individual feels shame, despair, and confusion. Until the next craving. Then the cycle repeats itself.

Addictive sexuality is like most compulsive behaviour: a destructive twist on a normal life-enhancing activity. Defining sex addiction depends less on the behaviour itself than on the person's motivation.

Love addicts go through life with desperate hopes and constant fears. Fearing rejection, pain, unfamiliar experiences, and having little faith in their ability or right to inspire love, they wait and wish for love, perhaps their least familiar real experience.

Signs of Love or Sex Addiction Include:

• Constantly seeking a sexual partner or new romance 
• An inability or difficulty in being alone
• Consistently choosing partners who are abusive or emotionally unavailable
• Using sex, seduction and intrigue to "hook" or hold onto a partner
• Using sex or romantic intensity to tolerate difficult experiences or emotions
• Missing out on important family, career or social experiences in order to maintain a sexual high or romantic relationship
• When in a relationship, the addict feels detached or unhappy; when out of a relationship, there is a feeling of desperation and loneliness
• Avoiding sex or relationships for long periods of time to "solve the problem"
• An inability to leave unhealthy relationships despite repeated promises to self or others
• Returning to previously unmanageable or painful relationships despite promises to self or others
• Mistaking sexual experiences and romantic intensity for love

As Patrick Carnes states, “Contrary to enjoying sex as a self-affirming source of physical pleasure, the sex addict has learned to rely on sex for comfort from pain, for nurturing or relief from stress,” comparable to the alcoholic’s purposeful use of alcohol.

Help and Treatment

You do not need to suffer from sex addiction to seek professional help. If you find yourself acting out sexually, seek professional help early to help reduce the harmful consequences.

Screening - The aim of the initial session is to identify the presence of acting out sexually and/or effect of negative consequences of acting out. Our professional WE CARE counsellors will screen for other existing mental health conditions to gain a deeper understanding of the client. 

Assessment - This is a comprehensive understanding of the severity and depth of acting out in the context of the client's life situation. We also evaluate the individual's strengths, weaknesses, problems and needs so we can determine an effective solution. Potential risks, and how they are to be managed, will be integrated into the treatment planning. Otherwise, a suitable treatment plan can proceed, after a discussion with the client, and with his approval.

Treatment Planning + Counselling - The treatment plan is tailored to the client's needs. Immediate and long-term goals are established. A discussion of WE CARE's holistic services is included in the treatment planning.

Your sessions with WE CARE counsellors are strictly private and confidential.

SPLA (Sex Porn Love Addiction) Recovery Programme

The SPLA (Sex Porn Love Addiction) Recovery Programme is a structured therapy programme designed for people with sex, pornography and love addictions. Counselling is provided by trained addiction specialists.

Basic programme components:

• 6 individual sessions
• 2 family sessions (optional)
• 4 group sessions (optional)

Depending on their needs, some clients may require further sessions after the initial phase of the programme.

To find out more about our Sex, Love and Porn addiction counselling programme, click here.

To make an appointment, call 3165 8017 or email: help@wecare.org.sg