Alone We Can't, Together We Can: The Importance of Community in Addiction Recovery

November 2022

Mental Health

"Being a part of a community has benefited me in many ways but the greatest thing it has provided is support - especially in my moments of weakness where relapse seemed like the only option. "

For as long as I can remember, I thought that it was "Me against the world". It was a line that seemed to appear a lot in movies and songs, which I could really relate to. As I grew up, it was a concept that was reinforced (mostly by my father) again and again until it became one of my core beliefs.

As I navigated through 15 years of active addiction, it was this belief, together with several other false beliefs, that formed the basis of my personality. I spent a good portion of life not fully understanding the concept of recovery - I didn't even know about the existence of a recovery community.

Loneliness and hopelessness became a recurring theme in my life because I felt like no one could ever begin to understand the things I was going through. I knew in my heart that I was an addict and I felt like I was doomed to a life of addiction, just like my father. In my mind, there was nothing I could do except to learn how to cope with it.

I spent a good portion of my life on the fringes of society and had grown accustomed to being ostracised by both family and society. Despite my best attempts, I just could not get the people around me to understand. I felt like I was on a lower social and moral standing compared to the general population, and throughout the years suffered multiple kinds of punishments - either from school or law enforcement.

These punishments typically involved serving some sort of "time out". Whether it was a suspension from school or a jail sentence – the belief that it was "me against the world" grew stronger. From the inside looking out, removal from society may seem like the right thing to do. However, from the outside looking in, I can tell you that it's not. What I've found is that while connection isn't the only component of recovery, it plays a vital role.

"Connection is the opposite of addiction" is a line that I hear a lot and it is precisely this connection that I was deprived of. Connecting with others, especially people who are like-minded and seemed to be telling my story through their lips, effectively ended my isolation and showed me that it was in fact not "me against the world".

Being a part of a community has benefited me in many ways but the greatest thing it has provided is support - especially in my moments of weakness where relapse seemed like the only option. In early recovery, I found sobriety to be extremely daunting because essentially, I had to find a new way to live.

I would have to let go of my past life which included friends or family that had played a big part in my life when I was in active addiction. The idea of admitting that most of what I previously thought was right was in fact wrong, was not only overwhelming but left me feeling hopeless and lonely. Repeated failures in life had led me to conclude that every decision I made or every endeavour I pursued would inevitably end in failure, so why would recovery be any different?

Well, knowing that I am not alone has made all the difference. Previously, I perceived that asking for help was a sign of weakness. What I did not realise was that it took even more courage and strength to admit that I needed help and that everything was not okay.

By being able to tap on the experience and support of a community that consisted of people who were also in recovery, I am rewarded with different perspectives on how a problem can be tackled or in certain situations even the solution to my problem. Those around me are able to see my blind spots and guide me accordingly.

At certain stages, the level of motivation to stay in recovery has wavered greatly. The benefits of a clean and sober life are at times not enough for me to keep going - this is where a community has helped immensely. I have encountered individuals who have had substantial lengths of clean time, who speak with a sense of joy, freedom and peace that I find very attractive.

I desperately want the liberation from pain, guilt and remorse that they seemed to have attained - if they succeeded in finding a new way to live, then why not me? One of the biggest "benefits" that I derived from active addiction was a mental "crutch" that enabled me to function in society.

Without this "crutch" that I relied on for so long, I was left feeling lost and precarious, incapable of functioning normally in society. Again, this is where being part of a community proved invaluable. It offered me an avenue to not only relearn social skills but also to develop and reinforce positive habits.

In the short term, support from the community acted as the "crutch" which enabled me to walk again. Eventually, I came to the realisation that I never needed a "crutch" in the first place. Recovery is a tough and demanding journey but with the support and encouragement of a community, I know that the chance of arresting my addiction increases greatly.

As I slowly integrate myself more with a community, no longer do I think that I need to fight my battles alone. Instead, I have come to believe that what we cannot do on our own, we can achieve as a group.

 

By Jat