Confessions of a Recovery Guide

March 2024

Perspectives: Staff

"For me, these not only make a good Recovery Guide but also form the foundation of what makes us better humans. I am a still a work-in-progress – as a Recovery Guide, a human and a person in recovery."

 

Hello. My name is Ahmad and I am a Recovery Guide. These are words I would have never thought of uttering just two years ago. Two years ago. That was when my life changed. Before I get to where we are now, allow me to rewind to when my life's trajectory pivoted into uncharted territories.

You see, back when I was younger, the allure of the unknown, the thrill of rebellion, and the whispers of escape got me started on a path of darkness and eventually lured me into the world of drug abuse.

It's often said that curiosity killed the cat, but for me, it was more like the claws of curiosity digging deep into my soul. The first time I experimented with drugs, it felt like an adventurous escape - a way to step out of the confines of my mundane reality and into something extraordinary.

However, what started as an occasional dalliance soon became an insidious companion that refused to leave. Fleeting curiosity soon transformed into helplessness and hopelessness. I had become a functional addict: Someone who could maintain a facade of normalcy while secretly being consumed by his addiction. Deep down, I knew that I was spiralling out of control.

The Law's Intervention: A Forced Wakeup Call

As with any journey down a dark path, there's a point when the road ends, and the truth catches up. For me, the law caught up - pulling me out of my self-destructive cycle and forcing me to face the consequences of my actions. I still remember it vividly…

Monday, 1 Aug 2022: The most embarrassing, humiliating and terrifying day of my life. At about 4.30 pm, there was a knock on the door and before I could react, eight CNB (Central Narcotics Bureau) officers barged in and proceeded to search the house.

It was a helpless feeling as they handcuffed me, sat me down on my bed and barraged me with questions. I was then led down to the car park, where they searched my car. In a state of unimaginable daze and shock, I was then squeezed into a van and brought to Cantonment Police Station.

From then on, everything felt surreal. An out-of-body experience. I have never felt so helpless. So alone.

The arrest by CNB was a humiliating wake-up call, a stark reminder of the person I had become and the life I was throwing away. Sentenced to DRC, I found myself at a crossroads that offered me a chance at redemption and to rebuild my life. It was also, however, a daunting journey into the unknown, paved with fear and uncertainty.

A New Beginning: Finding Hope in Fellowship

After three months in DRC, I was assigned to WE CARE as part of my Community Based Programme. It was here that I was introduced to the concept of fellowship: A community of individuals who had walked the same path and understood the struggles of addiction.

Like most first-timers, I was sceptical and resistant to the idea of opening up to total strangers. In time, the fellowship essentially turned my life around. They provided a lifeline that helped me navigate the tumultuous waters of addiction and find my way back ashore.

Life started making sense - the fear and uncertainty about my future gradually faded as recovery took priority.

Paying it Forward: A New Purpose in Life

At the end of 2023, I was presented with an opportunity to be a Recovery Guide. Despite my initial reservations and lack of experience, it didn't take me long to say yes. The reason being I needed (and found) a purpose - a calling that gives meaning to my life and direction to my recovery journey.

I am now able to pay it forward, using my experience and story to inspire hope and provide support to those who are trying to find their own way out of the darkness and into recovery.

As I write this, I have been a Recovery Guide for almost four months, and each day has brought a new experience. The past few months have been a sharp learning curve that's underscored the importance of having an open heart and an open mind.

My initial takes on what it takes to be a Recovery Guide will be the subject of another article. Essentially it requires empathy, compassion, good communication skills, resilience, patience, knowledge and most importantly integrity, authenticity and commitment.

For me, these not only make a good Recovery Guide but also form the foundation of what makes us better humans. I am a still a work-in-progress – as a Recovery Guide, a human and a person in recovery.

Working at WE CARE allows me to discover myself and has been a healing experience, a chance to turn my past mistakes into a force for good. Every day, I am reminded of the person I used to be and the journey I have taken to become the person I am today.

Thanks to WE CARE, I've grown so much. Recovery's a roller coaster, but it's here I learned the importance of resilience, the power of support and the magic of transformation.

I am grateful for the second chance I have been given, and I am committed to using it to make a difference in the lives of others.

Yes. My name is Ahmad and I am a Recovery Guide.

 

By Ahmad