I found hope in a hopeless situation

March 2024

“When I was addicted, I know that it’s bad for me… but I just want to move away from the sadness, the pain… the stress that day… I just want to hopefully get a good rest.”

 

In 2008, Joe was a teacher suffering from burnout. With no access to professional help, he struggled each day to cope with his burnout, unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel. He eventually turned to prescribed sleeping drugs to numb himself against the pain he faced when he woke up each day. While drugs freed him from his reality, it made him a slave to the addiction, living for the next dose and next drug resupply. His addiction eventually escalated to methamphetamine – an illegal drug. In 2018 before he was arrested, but that also marked the start of his road to recovery.

 

Yet this journey was by no means a straight, or smooth one. The COVID-19 lockdown resulted in isolation that locked Joe in with his addictions and triggers. The shame of addiction resulted in him pushing his friends and family away, while they stood at the side-lines, unsure and afraid and to step in to offer a hand. Alone in this challenging time, Joe stumbled and fell back into addiction, relapsing for 6 months before he was rearrested.

 

It was during his second incarceration that Joe was introduced to WE CARE community services as an addiction recovery centre that helps people recovering from various addictions. Looking back, Joe identified WE CARE community services as the turning point in his journey. His recovery road converged with others, allowing him to find a family within those who walked the same path with him at WE CARE.

 

While serving out his second sentence, his counsellor from WE CARE visited him continuously and his old friends sent e-letters to him in prison, which became the light in his darkness. At WE CARE, while he had his reservations about interacting with other persons in recovery at first, he quickly realised that they were companions walking the same road in this recovery journey, regardless of race, religion, background and education level. The group therapy sessions allowed him to hear the honest shares from others, and provided a non-judgemental environment for him to express himself and find a community amongst those who related what he was going through.

 

The workshops and activities also enabled him to reintegrate back to life on the outside, gradually changing his old habits and priorities that could potentially endanger his sobriety. WE CARE also gave him a safe space devoid of any triggers to pass his time in, allowing him to once again start enjoying a new sober and clean life.

 

With a heart more open to others, Joe also started to rebuild his old friendships and familial bonds. After putting his family through so much, it was difficult to regain their trust, yet his efforts to remain clean did not go unfounded, allowing him to celebrate birthdays and interact with his loved ones once again. Throughout his recovery journey, this is something he greatly treasures and takes pride in.

 

Currently, Joe works at the drop-in centre in the very organisation he had once received help from, organising and facilitating the activities, outings and operations. Wish his lived-experience, he is inspired to reach out to other recovering persons, just as WE CARE had once offered him a family and community. Rather than living in regret, Joe is thankful for his experience which allowed him to mature emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Today he is less judgemental and ready to accept people for who they are despite their faults or background.

 

To those who are walking this difficult journey of recovery, Joe has one piece of advice to offer, “Remove your ego, and ask for help.” His shame stemming from ego and pride was what hindered him from reaching out for help, resulting in a full-blown relapse.

 

Yet he also acknowledges that society has much to grow when it comes to addressing and understanding the topic of addiction. A lack of awareness, together with the stigma surrounding addiction often results in the signs of addiction being ignored. As Singapore moves towards placing more importance on mental health, it is also important for persons recovering from addiction to not be left out in this initiative. Addiction is not a matter of poor morals but a mental health condition, requiring professional therapy and intervention.

 

Regardless, Joe expresses hope for the younger generation. Less burdened by prejudices, he realises that the youths of today are more accepting of people in recovery as someone in need of help rather than someone to condemn or shun. Perhaps the small ripples of change that the youths of today can one day bring about a society that does not view “addiction” as a bad word.