Out from the Fires of Addiction

September 2024

Recovery Story: Singaram

"In a drug-fuelled emotional rage, he set fire to the company building, resulting in a 9-month prison sentence for arson."

During the 1970s, Singaram grew up in a neighbourhood notorious for drug use and secret societies that promoted the consumption and abuse of drugs. Singaram himself began using drugs at the age of 14, after his friends and neighbours introduced them to him. This resulted in a continuous cycle of consumption eventually leading to an addiction.  

“People normally work in the morning and sleep at night.” Singaram described his experience, “But I sleep in the morning and work at night.”. Addiction made the process of getting a job very difficult. Even after finding work in the 1980s, his company cheated him by withholding his pay. In a drug-fuelled emotional rage, he set fire to the company building, resulting in a 9-month prison sentence for arson. 

During his time in prison, Singaram met several prison counsellors who attempted to help him with his addiction but were ultimately ineffective. They could not relate with Singaram in the slightest and seemed to recycle the same advice - “Don’t use”, “You’ve been like this for too long already”, and “Think of your parents”.  

Those experiences left Singaram disenchanted, and with a negative perception of counsellors as a whole. 

Upon release, Singaram continued to struggle. Going to work remained a major difficulty, and Singaram’s addiction caused him to be hospitalised multiple times. Those stays led to a mountain of hospital bills, exacerbating his already dire financial situation. Even paying for food and public transportation became a problem. Deep down, Singaram knew that his current way of life was unsustainable. 

Furthermore, he lived in a flat with his mother and younger brother, while his sister lived in Australia. After the death of his mother, her flat was scheduled to be sold - this left Singaram with a pressing need to find some housing, failing which he would be forced into a life on the streets.  

Addiction typically involves a burning of bridges, and Singaram is no exception. He has unfortunately lost support from everyone in his family apart from his sister, who continues to keep in contact with him even till this day, despite being in another country.  

Singaram, however, doesn’t place any blame on his family. He understands their reasons for losing contact and bears no resentment whatsoever. 

Singaram eventually turned to Christianity and met a pastor who helped him onto the path of recovery. However, this was still not enough as the pastor could not be with him at all times of the day.  

“I was scared.” Singaram said, “If I stay alone, I will relapse.”  

Singaram first sought help at WE CARE in 2015. At first, he was wary of counsellors due to his previous experiences with the prison counsellors. He was also sceptical of programmes such as Narcotics Anonymous since he was afraid of revealing his story.  

What he found instead, was the complete opposite. His counsellor didn’t try to dictate his actions, but instead offered a genuine listening ear. “Her kindness motivated me to stay committed to my recovery journey.” he says gratefully.   

With the help of his sponsor, counsellors and everyone he met at WE CARE, Singaram slowly learned that social support was what he needed in order to receive the personal and effective care he needed. 

Recovery fellows suggested he take two years off work to focus solely on recovery, which he duly followed. Two years later, he resumed working and continues to this day. He lives by the quote, “Two years you take from people, after two years you give.” Now, a little more than five years on, he holds a prison pass and visits prisons to share his experiences, hoping to inspire others. 

Singaram emphasises the fact that recovery is not easy, especially alone. Social support is critical in recovery, and Singaram’s advice to people who are struggling is to remember that help is always available.  

Most importantly, he says to keep asking for help when you really need it - one will be pleasantly surprised by the number of people who are willing to help even if there is no personal gain. 

The road to recovery is long and difficult, but people, whether strangers, religious figures, or family members, will always be able to offer assistance. There are people who have been through similar hardship, willing to share their experiences and ensure that the same mistakes aren’t repeated.  

They can motivate us to stick with the journey, but, ultimately, the decision to endure the unsteady and arduous road of recovery rests with us. Singaram ends with a line that he’s heard many times in the 5 years plus that he’s been clean. It’s short, yet powerful - “Keep coming back”. 

 

By Mikela and Sam 

Sam and Mikela interned at WE CARE. Sam is studying Political Science at UCLA while Mikela is studying Health in Social Science at the University of Edinburgh.